Please leave before we call security

November 16, 2006

Things have gotten so crazy, one question crosses my mind.  What if I took this story to Hollywood.  What would they say:

Mr Spielberg, thanks for taking this meeting.  I know your time is very valuable so I’ll get right to it.  Think Breaking Away meets Rocky! Got the image? Good.

Now we open the movie in the pastures of Amish country.  Think Witness.  Well there is this boy who loves his family but also loves his bike.  Well this kid, we’ll call him Floyd gets real good at riding his bike.  So much so that he has to make a choice.  Leave his family to pursue his dreams of winning the Tour de France or staying loyal to his family and true to his religion.

He packs up and leaves home.  He works hard riding day and night until he gets his big chance to ride for the biggest baddest team in the world.  The only problem is the leader, we call him Lance Armstrong, well… Don’t like the name sir? Too Hollywood? No problem it was only a working name. We’ll change it to make it believable.

Well anyway this Lance guy rules with an iron fist and our Floyd can’t break through.  So he needs to break out again! Just like when he started. Go out into the unknown. So he goes to join his friend Tyler.  Just as he joins his friend, Tyler gets busted for cheating.  The team is going to fold and Floyd will be ruined.  So Floyd needs to pack again right? Wrong! He now sticks it out and stays with the team that gives him his big break. 

By sticking it out, he gets his shot. But what we don’t know is that while working under Lance, he was injured and now needs an operation. This is his one and only shot.  He gets the lead going into the final few stages. Just when we think he is going to win, disaster! He has a real bad day and all but loses the race.

We see him dejected until he decides to do the impossible, go out on his own to win the race.  We are thinking of John Williams to score this.  He does it and wins the whole thing.  Tears of joy, we have shots of his mother back home in Lancaster. A real tear jerker. Until our villan comes in. Name Dick Pound. Don’t like that name either, OK, gone.

Well Dick hates cycling and espicially American cyclists.  We can probably throw in the French here too. They are easy villians.  Let’s say the Dick gets lab results from a French lab that say Floyd cheated. 

So we need a courtroom scene here where Floyd clears his name in dramatic fashion to end the film.  He proves in A Few Good Men moment that Pound and the French doctored the lab results.

End film, roll credits? Not yet sir.  In order to get the kids interested, we thought we would add a computer hacker right before the trial.  Sir? Mr. Spielberg? What are you doing? Don’t call security! This could happen, I swear! Please hear me out!